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This is something I stumbled across and thought I would share.  It is a cool pilot and being a fan of the original series (which I own, and will review when we get closer to the Flash premiere) I thought this was new, exciting, and fun.  There are a lot of Easter Eggs to other heroes, villains.  One especially cool villain that we don’t see, but see his name plate.  We get the thought that this Arrow/Flash universe is bigger than just Arrow’s Starlet City.  Also this opens up the thought that Metahumans will be apart of the Arrow series too.  Enjoy and leave comments about what you think.

Flash Pilot

Jason Allen

 

 

It is opt out season and all that ESPN is spouting about is where LBJ and Melo will land.  Most think the King will return to the paradise we call South Beach (and if you have ever seen a Pitbull video who can blame him), and ME-lo is looking to be lifted and landing in the Windy City, Chi-town!  All I hear is that both want more weapons and a place to win more rings or A ring.  When I hear this I think to myself why not the Washington Wizards?  I know I’m a homer, but now I will make an argument for why The King and Melo should seriously consider D.C. their new home:

1.  Young Talent

The Wizards have a backcourt that can become one of the greatest in the league for a few years.  John Wall and Bradley Beal are up and comers, and they could benefit from having a legitimate #1 option in the offense.  The Wizards are one of the youngest teams in the league so these guys will be around for a while and the team can grow with the eventual aging superstars.

2.  The team compliments your weaknesses

When you look at the Knicks and the Heat, rebounding and down low scoring was an issue for both, thus morphing LBJ and Melo into post up players, and having to become better at rebounding to help their respective teams.  Well if the Wiz resign Gortat and with NeNe already down there, they have size, rebounding, and scoring.  Also both of these big men can shoot the 12-15 footer.

The team weakness in the playoffs was lack of composure and no go to scorer down the stretch.  Add Melo or LeBron, problem solved.

The Heat struggled with Point guard play, enter Mr. Dougie/NaeNae Dance John Wall. They also have a wily veteran coming off the bench in Andre Miller to help too.

3.  The Bench/Depth is not San Antonio good, but they are not bad either

As I mentioned above you have Miller for leadership and veteran sensibility, but you have a young energy guy in Martell Webster as the back up SG.  I figure to get either one of these superstars we wouldn’t be resigning Ariza, but you would have  youth at the back up SF in Otto Porter Jr (who is a bust so far), Chris Singleton, and Glen Rice Jr. You then look at Old Man Drew Gooden, Al Harrington, and the younger Trevor Booker at the back up PF with Kevin Serephin in the back up C position.  Again great Depth and granted these guys would look a lot better with a Melo or LBJ on the court.

4.  The City

Growing up in D.C. (called “Chocolate City” when I lived there, or the “Gun Murder Capital”) it’s a beautiful city.  Everyone knows about the sights and history there, but it is not far off from being a legitimate major market.  Especially if one of the superstars were to grace the city and play there.  The D.C. market is as competitive as the Miami market, naturally D.C. can’t touch NY, but those stars would bring business and marketers there.  We just witnessed the RGIII craze.  Imagine the The King heading to D.C., LBJ would be come the Mayor and the President in the same year.  Imagine Melo coming here with his roots in Baltimore and not snitching.  Also his wife’s reality show would have to be filmed in D.C. bringing more awesome to the city.

Also there are very little to no sports demons of the past for them to battle in D.C.  When it comes to Basketball it is Wes Unseld, and that is it.  In Miami LBJ will always be held to D-Wade and Pat Riley’s popularity.  In NY Melo has tons of demons in the Basketball Mecca!  Washington D.C. could be the house they built, ala MJ and Chicago.

5.  You can do something Michael Jordan could not

You can accomplish something that the great Michael Jordan could not…  MAKE WASHINGTON D.C. A WINNER.  Now I know MJ was old and the air was out of the Jumpman, and he was more of a Ground man.  But MJ suited up and he couldn’t lead the Wizards to the playoffs, let alone sniff a Championship.  LeBron, you can claim a victory in a Jordan failure.  How awesome would that be?  Melo would begin to rewrite the books about his legacy with a Championship, but he can also claim that which “His Airness” could not.  That allure alone should push King James here, and that double win for Melo’s legacy should be tempting.

All I’m saying is that the Washington Wizards should be on these Superstars radar and sadly enough they probably are not.  So if everyone in D.C. or everyone that loves the Wizards could share this and build up a ground swell that maybe will reach one of these superstars we may get my wish, and eventually get all of D.C.’s wish and that is to win the NBA Championship!

Written By:

Jason Allen

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

You Like Man Stuff?  I’m sure you do so follow me for me of it @UnsportsmenBigJ

Now I have taken a break from writing, with working so much, and just plain being busy.  Once in a while a movie comes along and fills me with such passion that I’m forced to dust off the Laptop and let my fingers show my passion.  Transformers 4 is one of those movies.  Trailer Please!

Now this passion I speak of is utter ANGER and PISSED OFFNESS (if that can be a feeling).  This Movie is plain SHYT!!!  Now don’t get me wrong Transformers 1 was below average, part 2 was ok by a slim margin, part 3 was an abomination (not the good Abomination that the Hulk smashes), and part 4 follows in part 3′s Shitty footsteps.  Except part 4 tracks the shit in your newly furnished living room.

My disgust at this movie is my fault though, to take a misquoted saying from my close personal friend George W. Bush

Well I shouldn’t have been fooled again, but I have been fooled 3 more times and now this time enough is enough.  How does Michael Bay keep getting chances to make incredibly bad movies?  Then I realized how and why, he literally puts a gun to the head of our childhood faves and tells us “See this movie or I will blow it’s brains out!”  What do I mean by that?  We all want to see and experience a bad ass Transformers movie, because we grew up on the shows, or the comics.  We go into every Bay shit fest hoping to get something close to satisfying as what we remember growing up.  The trade off is that we don’t see the movies and Bay pulls the trigger and blows the franchises head off and Hollywood wont green light these types of movies, and we are left dreaming (Thundercats franchise anyone?).  Now he is going to let his stench touch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle franchise (granted TMNT 3 did a excellent job of burying the original trilogy).  As much as I want to not go see another Bay film, I will be checking out the Ninja Turtles and probably will be filled with the same wrath.

Now about the movie!  Marky Mark is great in it, even if he is not helped with the stupid slow mo shots for no reason.  We do spend a lot of time with the human characters, and personally the daughter, boyfriend and almost every human character except Max Payne I don’t care about and wish they would have been killed in a comical fashion.  I sat through damn near 3 hours of movie and I didn’t know what the movie was about.  First I thought it was about getting rid of the Alien robots in disguise, but yet the humans were working with a different sect of robot aliens.  Then it became about making a robot army with the tech and metal of the transformers, but then some seed thing was involved.  Also add in the “Creators” wanting Optimus back, toss in some resurrecting of old robots, and then throw in the Dinobots for good measure of fandom.  The complete utter disrespect they did to the Dinobots was a shame.  I wanted the cool Grimlock that was not friends with Optimus and really didn’t like Optimus unless it was about beat, breaking, or smashing things up.  The Dinobots for the most part were always anti heroes and sometimes villains.  They are only in this movie so we can see Optimus ride a T-Rex and Bumblebee ride a Pterodactyl.  The only good part about the whole movie is that all the money the series has made, has allowed for a ton CGI and etc for the Transformers.  You see them transform with no shaky cam, out in brightly lit environments, and they look amazing.  Just great in scale, size, and movement.  The fights are amazing and very fluid.  But that is it and that was all.

To best describe Michael Bay is this way

or this way

Now I never tell anyone to not see movies, because i have a love for the whole theater experience, but I Definitely PAID for this in losing sleep Thursday night so you Don’t have To!

Written By:   Jason Allen

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you like Man Stuff or just hate Maichael Bay destroying our childhood follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ

No intro at all just watch and listen as your geek heart explodes:

 

BBBBOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, how great was that?  You know the first thing that popped into my head?  Buddy cop movie with the Joker and Luke Skywalker hunting down the Hobgoblin.  Now I know it’s hard to believe The Joker as a cop, but that would be the twist that the whole time The Joker was manipulating the events that Luke and him encountered all day and the Hobgoblin was really just a henchman to the Joker.  It would be like a creepy version of “Training Day” mixed with “Seven”.  You can just see Luke begging to know “What’s in the box?” and Mara Jada’s head is in there covered in clown paint.

Now I have taken this “Something Cool” into a galaxy far, far, away with making a movie idea out of Mark Hamill’s voice work.  Matter of fact, I think I’m going to watch it again.

 

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

For more cool shit follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ or subscribe to this site.

 

Sorry I have been MIA, seems to be a reoccurring thing with me, but thank you for everyone that has been patient with me.  The first “Something Cool”  entry was a childhood favorite, but this second one falls right into that category.  Welcome to Assassin’s FIST!  The background story of Ken and Ryu.  I even have the while series here for you from YouTube as a treat.  Be warned it is like 2 hours long in total, but enjoy.

 

If you don’t want to watch it on my site here is the link too.

Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist

 

Ok is 2 hours up?  What did you think?  I personally loved it, now I’m a fan of webepisodes, and fan films and etc.  Ryu is always my all-time favorite fighting game character.  I even used to be damn good at the games, especially Marvel vs Capcom.  Now I was already familiar with the story from the cartoon version of it, it was just great to see it come to life live action style.  Some of the best parts were the signature call back moves and moments, and EVIL RYU!

I get a few Metsu Hadoken’s, a fire fueled Shoryuken, or the ever confusing computer glitch turned real move Shakunetsu Hadoken (I did look up the real name rather than call it the super hadoken ← ↓→ +⊗ still remember how to do it on the controller).  Oh yea this web series gave us the most awesome thing ever,  Akuma’s “LIGHTS OUT MOVE“!  or that’s what we used to call it in my friend group.  When you pulled it off Akuma would glide at least 1/2 or 1/3 of the screen and grab the opponent and the lights would go out and you would hear some smack down being laid and when the lights returned Akuma is standing over a battered corpse ( looking it up now and it is officially called Wrath of the Raging Demon).  It was just so much to love, from Player’s theme music playing, and even the mention of Dan (for some reason this character is totally forgotten about, no one remembers the ultimate insult of a player beating you with Dan?  Autograph signing?  Mini, extermely mini Hadoken?  Nothing?  Ok then nevermind.)  Just pure fun watching this.

Now I admit I’m not a harsh critic when it comes to these type of things.  So the only issues I had was I wanted more Akuma or rather the Akuma/Goken showdown.  Also I wanted to see either a reference or a cameo of a certain tall, Muay Thai god, with an eye patch, and scar free.

This is definitely a great addition to the “Something Cool” archives!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

Follow Me @UnSportsmenBigJ

I think I’m going to start a segment called “Something Cool”  And to jump start this with who or what else than The Batman.  Hopefully this brings everyone back to their childhood with this one.  Also there is just something epic about the music in this and when I watched it on tv as a kid.  Enjoy!

 

The draft is among us and this draft is very important for a lot of teams.  The typical thought is in every draft if you can select at least three to four 4 or 5 year starters, your team is set up for success.  Our reigning Super Bowl champs are a prime example of how the draft can lift you to lifting the Lombardi.  Without further ado here is Big Play’s Mock draft…  Oh Yea Let’s Go Gang Green, Draft Like A Jet! (At least like a New Jet no more Gholston picks please!)

1. Texans:  Jadeveon Clowney DE, there’s rumors out there that Houston wants to trade, but do you want to be the team that passes on a once every 20yrs talent?  Probably not!

2. Rams: Jake Matthews OT, bloodlines outweighs Robinson’s superior talent.  Has any family put out more NFL talent?

3. Jaguars: Johnny Manziel QB, the staff wants Khalil Mack, my guess is the owner steps in to sell tickets.  Also with the report that Manziel doesn’t want to go to Jacksonville would make for good trade bait.

4. Browns: Khalil Mack OLB, Pettine gets the guy on the outside Rex never could get.

5. Raiders: Mike Evans WR, Evans is big, strong, and with speed.  It’s the Raider way!

6. Falcons: Greg Robinson OT, finally some protection for Matty (N)Ice (and Atlanta fans still wont be happy because it’s not Clowney and if Watkins is still on the board they would want him too)

7. Buccaneers: Sammy Watkins WR, the #1 WR hands down, and I know your thinking “If he is the best WR then why did the Raiders take Evans?”  The Raiders also took Heyward -Bay over Michael Crabtree.  Like I said, the Raiders Way!  Watkins will be great across from Jackson.

8. Vikings: Aaron Donald DT, Zimmer gets his Geno Atkins

9. Bills: Taylor Lewan OT, more OLine help for young EJ

10. Lions: Odell Beckham Jr WR, We know the Lions have other needs (secondary!), but the shadow of Millen still looms, and finally Caldwell gets his 3rd WR to complete his Colts O… I mean Lions Offense.

11.Titans: Darqueze Dennard CB, the top corner to replace Verner

12. Giants: Zack Martin OT, TE makes sense but Eli needs protection, and an upright Eli will only throw 15 interceptions not 27.

13. Rams: Calvin Pryor S, reminds me of Earl Thomas, a hard hitter that is needed in the new black and blue division.  The NFC WEST!

14. Bears: Timmy Jernigan DT, Bears were terrible against the run last year, he will help.

15. Steelers: Eric Ebron TE, Miller’s getting long in the tooth, so Pit drafts his successor.  This is another team that has a lot of needs and getting younger is a huge need, but we all know historically the Steelers have been great in the draft.

16. Cowboys: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix FS, ball hawking safety which is much needed for Dallas’ awful back end.  Message to Jerry Jones, resist every instinct to trade up for Manziel.

17. Ravens: Brandin Cooks WR, even with the acquisition of Steve Smith, Ravens still need some youth at the position.  This will set up the Ravens with two speedy WR for the future (Smith and Cooks) and we know how Flacco loves the deep ball.

18. Jets: Bradley Roby CB, with Ebron, ODB, and Dennard gone Jets stay true to their board and take best player available at a position of need.

19. Dolphins: Cyrus Kouandjio OT, Miami lost a couple starters to their line, they start building it back with the OT from the Tide.

20. Cardinals: Blake Bortles QB, successor to Carson Palmer in 2 years, and remember Palmer was a QB that sat before he became a starter.
21. Packers: Justin Gilbert CB, tall, rangy guy should help in match ups vs Jeffrey, Marshall, and Megatron twice a year (a job I don’t envy).

22. Eagles: Kyle Fuller CB, with how Philly scores points it will force teams to play catch up, you need corners

23. Chiefs: Teddy Bridgewater QB, perfect pick for both the team and the player.  Bridgewater could sit for a couple seasons behind the intellectual Smith and learn to maximize his strengths and limit his weaknesses, especially deciding gloves or no gloves.

24. Bengals: Jason Verrett CB, Can never have enough corners, when your D Line is that good you wont have to cover for long.  Plus they are not ready to give up on Dalton… yet!

25. Chargers: Louis Nix III NT, A power pig to put on the front line, just don’t sport the Bolo.

26. Browns: Derek Carr QB. Browns try their hand at it again for a franchise QB, especially since Johnny Football is off the board, could we see a trade since Manziel doesn’t want to be in J-Ville?

27. Saints: Kelvin Benjamin WR, another big target to go along with Colston and Graham for Drew Brees

28. Panthers: Cody Lattimer WR, after gutting there WR core Carolina starts to rebuild it

29. Patriots: Austin Seferian-Jenkins TE, Belichick drafts a TE to pair with Gronk to hopefully have the same success he had with trigga man Hernandez.  I also wouldn’t be surprised to see the Pats trade up for Ebron or trade down for more picks.
30. 49ers-: Jordan Matthews WR, a big sure handed guy to groom behind Boldin, just don’t have him learn how to go get the ball from mediocre Crabtree (Sherman words not mine), and don’t learn how to go across the middle soft from Davis (Earl Thomas and Kam Chancellor words not mine) and he will be fine.

31.Broncos:  Ryan Shazier LB, if there’s one thing we found out in the SB, Denver needs more speed on D especially since you can’t draft more heart!
32. Seahawks: Joel Bitonio G, The champs draft a replacement for the disappointing Carpenter.  Does it feel like the Seahawks are pulling a Marlins and blowing the team up to rebuild for a later run?

Written By:

Raymond "Big Play" Miller @bprunsportsmenm

Raymond “Big Play” Miller
@bprunsportsmenm

Follow Big Play @bprunsportsmenm

 

 

Everyone has been asking me what I feel about Donald Sterling.  I have been silent, minus conversations with my wife, about the situation.  One because I want everything to come out, Two I want to make a rationale thought that doesn’t come from anger and resentment.  With all that said…  I have no problem with what Donald Sterling said!

I know, Pro Black Jason, has no problem with what Sterling said?  You read it right and you are probably thinking I must have fell and bumped my head, or I have been hanging out with Uncle Ruckus and realized I have reverse vitiligo.  In all honesty, we are Americans and you can feel however and feel whatever you want about anybody.  Even if he stepped up to a podium and said the exact same thing I wouldn’t care.  He has that right and freedom.  It did hurt a bit when Sterling felt like him giving the players money to buy food, money to buy houses, money to buy cars, and etc made it ok.  It made hair on the back of my neck stand up, because of the Slaver Master mentality.  Other than that, go on Donald Sterling and be a racist, its your right.  My problem lies with all the surrounding parts of the incident.

Like I mentioned I have no problem with what Sterling said because of freedom of speech.  Is the speech disgusting?  YES! Is the speech repulsive?  ABSOLUTELY!  My issue is with the NBA and its owners.  As I’m currently writing this (4-29-2014) we have only heard from 3 owners.  THREE OWNERS!  2 of which are minorities (Michael Jordan, owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, and Vivek Ranadive owner of the Sacramento Kings), and the 3rd owner was Mark Cuban (who took a stand but really didn’t).  If people really feel like what Sterling said has no place in the NBA why have no other owners come out and stood against Sterling?  I’m not saying the other owners are racist, but I’m saying the other owners don’t want to open up “Pandora’s Box” and have owners judged on their morality.  So condemning Sterling will forever put the other owners in a situation when they make or do immoral things they too will be subjected to the same punishment they pursued against Sterling.  So basically the owners rather stand beside racism so they can stand behind a closed door and be as nasty as they want without fear of losing their ownership.  (Sorry I have just read the Atlanta Hawks owner said if it was a vote they vote to remove Sterling).  I do have a problem with the owners lack of a voice!  I do have a problem with the heads of the NBA!

Again I have no problem with what Donald Sterling said, but there is repercussions to what you do and say, he will face those.  The supposed Girlfriend who is recording the conversation, has known about Sterling’s views but yet she continued to “date” him and she is a woman of some color even if mixed.  How can she continue to be around this gross man (not to mention he is old as the dinosaurs, and even with Viagra that whole situation is disgusting)?  Is her self worth so low that money is greater than respect?  Yes she, illegally, exposed him, but she still subjected herself to this racist just to be around money.  I do have a problem with her integrity!

Donald Sterling has a history of being a bigot and racist so the words that are coming out of his mouth, are surprising to hear, but he has a history.  So if a zebra has stripes then why should I expect it to change.  So I have no problem with his words, but I have problem with every minority player in the NBA.  As a united front the NBA players should have done a work stoppage.  NOBODY should have played a single game until Sterling was removed or disciplined.  I know that is extreme, but if your ownership wont step up and act swiftly force their hands.  Nobody plays a game, imagine all the money the NBA would lose (or we would have the Washington Generals out there if some of the non minority players decided to play…  jk bad racial joke sorry).  I get the protest, with black socks, turning the warm ups inside out, and the athletes running to twitter to speak, but if this was the 60′s or 70′s we would not be watching anything.  The players would have shown an united front, took a stand, and forced change.  I wrote a while back how I felt that athletes have chosen to not be Activist and it sucks.  This would be a chance to show everyone in the world that racism will not be tolerated.  This is bigger than sports.  I have a problem with the lack of over the top protest and action by the players!

I commend and applaud all the companies that are pulling advertising and sponsorship from the Clippers.  I don’t have a problem with that!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

Follow me @unsportsmenBigJ I promise I’m not always so political and protest-ie

Only a night of Hero rape could produce a seed like this, and a movie like this too.

I honestly felt like there should have been more to this movie, but there was not.  I was hugely disappointed, DC Animation usually does the best job with their animated Universe.  Now as a Batman hater (see my last article) it still infuriated me with how they portrayed the Dark Knight.

I love Ra’s al Ghul, he is by far my favorite Batman villain (sorry Crown Prince of Crime).  I just love his mythos and his name means “Demon’s Head” that can’t get any cooler.  Al Ghul gets a few minutes of screen time here and is awesome all the way through.  You can get the vibe very quickly that he enjoys being a grandfather, and I wish we could get a prequel of Al Ghul and Talia training young Damian (you hear that DC make up for this turd).  How they handle Slade Wilson/DeathStroke is awesome for first half of the movie, but by the end not so much.  I’m glad we get Nightwing/Dick Grayson (Dick has always been my favorite…  Hold on…  You know what I mean) playing a role in this movie, in the comics it was Tim Drake’s Red Robin that was the “other son”.  I think it fits the components of the movie better with Nightwing instead of Drake.  Especially since most would agree Grayson has always been the closet to what a real son would have been like for Bruce Wayne.  The ending credits has a great sequence that shows a fight that we didn’t see during the movie, that we all wanted to see, so that was a nice little twist.  The voice work in this movie is great.  I’m getting used to Jason O’Mara as Bruce Wayne/Batman (I know the adolescent/preteen in me just kicked adult me in the nuts for ever thinking there could be another Batman voice besides Kevin Conroy), but all the voice work does a great job.  The animation looks marvelous, as well as the fight scenes are well done.

Now to my list of the unfortunate.  Ra’s Al Ghul is one of the biggest villains in the world, but in this movie his weaponry is stuck in the past.  I get it, League of Assassins, but no guns on a complex and no defenses with modern technology?  Come on man!  I get that Damian is a protege and anybody trained since birth would be one bad ass kid (Hit-Girl anyone?), but Damian battled skilled high level adult fighters and sometimes barely broke a sweat.  Come on man!  One of my great loves of Ra’s Al Ghul as a villain is how he refers to Batman as “Detective”.  Yet in this movie Batman is a FUCKING IDIOT!  From his Killer Croc fight (great to see him in a movie), to his lack of ability to figure things out before his preteen son does.  Damian is always 2 steps ahead of the Bat.  World’s Greatest Detective” my ass, he must have removed the title for this movie.  Nightwing figures things out faster than Batman, so maybe all of his “son’s” are surpassing him.  The plot was pathetic, the movie tries to get by on how cool the concept of Batman having a “killer” son.  Deathstroke wants to be leader of the League of Assassins, but he did everything to be the leader by destroying the League of Assassins, even down to eliminating all the leaders, and the one he didn’t eliminate he could have, but chose not to because he wanted to lure Damian in to settle a grudge?  Huh?  Damian would have been lured in just for revenges sake.  Oh yea we get a subplot of creating ninja mutant man bats (this is ripped from the comics), now this subplot was just set up to give Batman more things to fight.  Lets not forget Rape is spoke about in enjoyable terms, the Lazarus Pit not making a user insane, Batman having an “oh well (shoulder shrug)” feeling about everything (having a hidden son, League of Assassins being rebuilt after it was destroyed, Ra’s Al Ghul predicament).  Then you have Damian who is annoying, (like Conner from Angel annoying), but I can get over that if they didn’t make him have a change of heart for no reason other than him saying it.  Bruce and Damian never bonded, or had a profound moment that would justify a reason for Damian to change the ways he learned since he was born.  The list could go on, but I have written to much.

Again I just think this movie was made to say LOOK EVERYONE BATMAN HAS A SON!  And he is nothing like him!  And who doesn’t like kid violence?  This movie is for me was like the scheme Talia used on Batman.  Use a hot/cold relationship to lure you in (Batman and I), get drugged where it makes/hopes you forget what made your relationship what it was (All the reason that make me hate Batman is what makes him awesome, except this movie hopes I forget that)), and then from that comes a product that is bad (this movie).  Son Of Batman will just drug you and leave you with an issue to take care of…  It sucking.   I Pay For It (with my innocence) So You Don’t Have To!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you want to help me recover from this movie that has left me fragile and shaken follow me @UnsportsmenBigJ

All puns and jokes aside Sexual Abuse and Rape are serious things not to be taken lightly and I do take those things serious, sorry if I offended anyone with my jokes.

 

I’m not the hugest Batman fan, when I was younger I did enjoy him more until I realized a lot of things about Batman I didn’t like. here is my list and goes a little something like this:

1.  He is a lunatic, only person I think is crazier than Batman is Rorschach from “Watchmen”.  You don’t believe Batman is crazy?  Please look at the facts:

-He dresses up as a BAT as a grown ass man!

-He trains kids to fight crime even after some have died, he vows to never do it again and then up pops another kid sidekick (or teen sidekick)

-In his fight against crime he refuses to use guns because his parents were killed by guns, yet everyone uses guns on him.  I would say that is dumb but we all know Batman is smart; see #2.  Hell at least use rubber bullets.

-When a villain is not afraid of an all powerful alien, but shudders in their boots because a man in a bat costume glares at them, that is insane.  In the words of the late James Brown, I don’t know Karate, but I know KRRAAZZYYY!  Now imagine a guy that knows both, beware Chuck Norris.

-He is a billionaire that rather spend time with a kid, and old man, in a dark, dank cave instead of being an awesome jet setting billionaire that has tons of sex with models, buying the night spots, and just going crazy with the family inheritance.

-Not to mention the women to really catch his eye are a Princess of an Assassins Guild, a cat burglar (granted the cat suit would do it for me too, especially if you throw Halle Berry, or Michelle Pfeiffer in it), Renaissance fighter, a spy for the Black Hand, a crazy plant lady who has tried to poison him, his former bodyguard, and an Amazon Warrior (Kudos if anyone can name all of the women I’m referring to, and then you will realize that you are as geeky and pathetic as I…  I call that a soul mate).  You date crazy, because you are crazy!

So yes Batman is Bat-Shit Cray (I know saying cray is very uncool now, its like when I first heard my mom say swag. WORD OFFICIALLY DEAD!) Crazy.

2.  I don’t mind insane characters, hell I like Rorschach, even the insane Deadpool, and Punisher.  Yet they make Batman unbeatable, which is my main problem with Batman.  Don’t give me the super intelligence angle either, you can be the smartest man in the world or even in the universe but one solid punch from a Man of Steel should shatter a skull.  Now lately they have made Batman more vulnerable and don’t have him going toe to toe with the likes of Darkseid, but there was a point when Batman was the underdog that could… no matter how unrealistic the odds.

3.  Batman is so FUCKING COOL!!!  And I hate him for it.  I’m a Supes fan through and through and the Ultimate Boy Scout can’t hold a candle to the awesomeness of Batman.  The hiding in the shadows, the overlooking the city like a crime fighting Gargoyle.  Just nothing compares to The Cool of The Batman (that would be a great album name for an Alternative Hip Hop Artist, Childish Gambino I’m looking at you).

Enjoy this short by the man who made my image of Batman so cool Bruce Timm (and for a lot of us he shaped our love for the DC Animated Universe, and I wish Timm and Dini would get back in to help with the movies):

Here is a trailer for the upcoming “Son of Batman”, and we know the DC Animated Universe hits Home Runs!  This looks amazing!

And lastly just a great geekgasm, this definitely has Frank Miller Batman era written all over it.  Lord why can’t we get this in real life?

Happy 75th Anniversary Batman and here is to another 75 years of being crazy, unstoppable, and cool!

Written By:

Jason "Big J" Allen  @UnsportsmenBigJ

Jason “Big J” Allen
@UnsportsmenBigJ

If you have the answers to all the Batman lovers or just want to debate how awesome you think Batman is to how much I think he sucks tweet and follow me @UnSportsMenBigJ

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